Okay, let's get right in to it. Since this will be the topic of discussion at the water cooler tomorrow anyway. Yes, Kanye "to the" acted a complete ass on stage last night at the MTV Video Music Awards. And I say this as a fan of both Kanye West and his music. Honestly though,...is anyone surprised?

Kanye West is known for tantrums, he's got a napoleon complex (he's at least a good 6 inches shorter than Taylor Swift, heels or not), he's got an undeserved sense of self-importance and a chip on his shoulder the size of the hope diamond. He always feels slighted and takes pride in fighting for the underdog.

Give him credit, he always says what the average American lacks the intestinal fortitude to say. I'll admit, I had the "wtf" face when Taylor Swift, a 16 year old country music prodigy came on stage to accept the Best Female Video award in a category that included Kelly Clarkson, Pink, Katy Perry, Lady GaGa and yes even Beyonce Knowles Carter herself. All I could think was...."how'd that work?!?". But all my befuddlement was erased by Taylor's southern charm and genuine appreciation. How quickly we forget how young she is and that this is her first award. Taylor Swift is as un-jaded by stardom as a pop princess can be and I had the unmitigated gall to accuse her of not having as substantial chance of winning as the grammy powerhouses that surrounded her. Shame on me. Her award was the only one I didn't call.



None of that mattered though. Despite the fact that I'm sure Taylor's heartfelt speech in which she quickly acknowledged the fact that she never thought her winning a coveted "Moon Man" was possible, in storms West with a vengeance. Mind you. He never directly said anything cross to Taylor Swift. He did in fact say he was happy for her and he wanted her to have her moment. But he couldn't resist his opportunity to protest. His opinion is so important and valued that his statement could drastically change the outcome of what was just handed down. Even Beyonce couldn't help but cringe as he admonished the awards show committee because "Beyonce had one of the greatest videos of all time. Of ALL TIME!" then shrugged his shoulders in an 'I'm just sayin' fashion and returned to his seat.

Poor Taylor was so flabberghasted they had to cut to a vignette impromptu and rush her off stage because unfortunately, Ms. Swift was due to perform next.

The incident was uncalled for, yes. But again, what do you expect? The MTV Awards Show producers live for unpredictable moments, it makes for great TV and twitter tweets. Even facebook had a "twitter-esque" feel to it as I found myself updating the non-cable having public on the happenings and keeping them abreast of all the mass craziness. It's really no different than the guy who climbed the structure on stage and refused to come down at the VMA's a few years ago. How quickly we forget the infamous Diana Ross/Lil' Kim tit-tweek of 99' or the very first VMA's in 1984 when Madonna humped the stage or when she tonged down Brittany & Christina.

Video award outrageous-ness can be seen as recently at the 09 BET Awards when Ving Rhames, Tyrese and (unwillingly) Taraji P. Henson re-enacted scenes from John Singleton's laughable ghetto drama "Baby Boy". Complete with a drunkard Rhames telling the audience to call and response that BET and Micheal Jackson are "guns" and those other "bitch ass award shows" are butter.

pardon my french, but I am quoting.

Anywho, the VMA's being one of those "other" award shows, definitely trumped the BET Awards where it counted. A STELLAR Micheal Jackson tribute that suited his legacy well as Janet Jackson graced the stage to perform "Scream" alongside her iconic brother on screen much like Natalie Cole performed green-screen with her father the great Nat King Cole.



It was a tear jerker to say the least, but as the 80 or so dancers covered the choreography to Thriller, Beat It, & Smooth Criminal, MTV waved a Dikembe Motumbo sized finger at BET who should know by now that less is more. Even though NeYo killed his MJ tribute and New Edition tried unsuccessfully to recapture the magic of the Jackson Five, they came up short having the unfortunate duty of paying homage to one of the Black Community's biggest if not the biggest star on the biggest night in Black Entertainment Television. Needless to say MTV 1, BET 0.

The rest of the performances stretched from the amazing to the odd. Two ends of the spectrum spring to mind. Pink's acrobatic performance high above the Radio City Music Hall audience was innovative and imaginative and kept me interested start to finish. Lady GaGa who had the oddest outfits of the night (I think she was channeling Bijork...seriously she looked like an escaped extra from Pan's Labyrinth the whole show, complete with 4 outfit changes I could count); went in a very avant'e guard direction with an Opera theme that was too over the top even for the Rocky Horror Picture Show. There were bedazzled wheel chairs, and platinum walking apparatuses and collapsing chandeliers that somehow by the song's end caused GaGa to bleed out to the akward amazement of the millions of viewers around the globe. Not to mention her date for the awards was the well known actor of stage & screen both big and small....Kermit "the" Frog.


Pause


I'm so not joking.


Honestly, the rest of the show wasn't that memorable. Or maybe in comparison to Kanye West's outburst everything else just seemed normal by juxtaposition. Megan Fox (who I think is vastly overrated) should shoot her stylist, hang her and drag her behind a Buick Regal with a shotgun reflex and a heavy black exhaust over cobblestones and broken glass. Seriously, she looked a hot mess with that outfit. I'm not sure what inspired the design but she looked like she was auditioning for Tweetle Dee or Dum in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, or at least she kept the outfit. Needless to say it wasn't becoming.

I spent most of the night wondering how bad Kanye was going to get booed when they announced his name for all the awards he was nominated for. As expected, he was unceremoniously booed the entire night. I even mused at whether or not Kanye would storm the stage again if Kid Cudi or Drake didn't win best new artist, but something tells me Security escorted him from the building after his first rant. By the way, VMA security gets the fail of the night, I'll tell you why later.

Jack Black get's a fail for leading everyone in a satanic (while satirical) prayer to satan complete with devil's horns salute. (dude...it just wasn't funny. And I'm a Jack Black fan)

MTV gets a fail for inviting Russell Brand to host because he's so rude, crass, oversexed and obnoxious he makes Dane Cook appear charming. His sense of humor and objectification of women literally makes me cringe, which is probably one of the biggest reasons why you saw more presenters and less hosting by the third commercial break. I can say this, Jamie Foxx, while grasping at straws at first with his MJ tribute and Moonwalk looked to bomb at first, once he threw on his Aviators and found his swagger so to speak, he was a much more charismatic and entertaining host...funny even! (Skank Robbers featuring Foxx as Wanda and Martin Lawrence as Sheneanea...nuff said). Russell Brand just gets off on saying whatever comes to mind. He went from defending Lady GaGa against allegations of her being an intersexed individual (what some in politically incorrect circles may refer to as a hermaphrodite), to putting in a bid to "shag" her on live television. He told Katy Perry she had a hole in her knickers, threatened to date rape Megan Fox and informed the crowd he had a sack of magic and a wand in his trousers. He said many more crass things, but I'll let you watch the replay to get the gist. The most Jamie Foxx did was call out Tyler Perry...*shrugs* I would've too for turning down the opportunity to join Lawrence and Foxx portraying his own masculine female comedy powerhouse Madea.

Needless to say, MTV 1 BET 1.

Unlike Russell Brand, Beyonce is a class act. In the full circle that is entertainment karma, Bey-Z actually did take home the moon man for video of the year. Which ironically is the biggest award of the night, so Kanye's tirade went for naught. Instead of talking about how great her performance of "Single Ladies" was (which it really was kind of dope), without plugging her new House of Dereon line, without thanking her mom for desigining her outfits or acknowledging her dancers or her record label or directors. She reminds us instead.

She takes us back to when she was 17 and she won her first VMA with Destiny's Child, and how that was a defining moment in her career. So instead of thanking God and all her fans, she invited Taylor to come back out on stage and have her moment without interruption. Standing Ovation for both Beyonce and Taylor Swift.

Epic Win: Beyonce & Taylor Swift. Very classy. Expected if you have any salt as a human being with feelings and emotions, but still it goes a long way to buck the trend of divas and divo's in the music industry who have a sense of entitlement.

Finally, after sitting through the whole awards show and seeing Eminem's triumphant return to Award Show land (winning as well), although I really don't see how the campy "We Made You" is a better video or song than "D.O.A." no hate, just saying. I finally got to see Jigga perform after teases of his arrival all night. When Hov was in the building, it was without fanfare but not without significant buildup. Complete with a camera crew following him from his black convoy arrival to Radio City and backstage walk to greet the crowd equipped with Yankee hat tilted.

His performance of "Empire State of Mind" with Alicia Keys was a fitting tribute to the city that hosted the 2009 VMA's and the home of both collaborators. Keys was inspiring on the ivory's and Shawn Carter was charismatic on the mic. As magic as it can get without being the Fade to Black concert. Classic.

That is, until the final moments where Jay and Alicia hit the B-Boy stance arms folded to close out the number when who should appear. Not fellow New Yorkers P. Diddy, or fellow Brooklynites Mos Def and Talib Kweli, not Fabolous or Nas or Russell Simmons, Rev Run or any of the Empire State's powerhouses of Hip Hop past and present...it was Lil' Mama.
Miss Lipgloss herself had the outer ovaries to stand next to her idol and pose as if invited. It would've been cool if Jay acknowledged her presence or even shared birthplace with a playful nod or inviting proximity stance, but his initial look was "wtf?!?", patted her on the leg gesturing to her to fall back and stop T-Paining (like T-Pain jumping on stage during Jay's Summer Jam performance of D.O.A.) and he even went so far as to inch away and distance himself from his fellow brooklynite and emcee. It'd be funnier if it weren't so sad and embarrassing for ABDC's equivalent to Paula Abdul. But she is the bat-shit equivalent right? Lil' Mama, the distance he put between himself and you is one of the reasons why you're adored more for your judging role on ABDC than for your music. Take heart, at least your outfit wasn't as rediculous as Lady GaGa's Red Lace Crown and Mask getup or her White Porcupine Eskimo outfit....for a change.

Again,...for trying to pull a baby Kanye, if even only to Ricky Bobby on stage and pose for the frame...Lil' Mama still gets a fail. And so does security. (Does anyone watch the stage anymore??)

Since Jay's performance on both the VMA's and the BET Awards shows premiered new singles off the Blueprint 3 and both performances were dope, I can't give an advantage here, but I will say this. Kanye showed poor Award Show etiquette, we know this. But as I said, he's infamous for it. He's thrown tantrums at every award show he didn't win at. He just couldn't wait for his category this time.

Maybe him and Amber Rose had a more pressing engagement and he figured he needed to get it out of the way. Who knows. At any rate. Considering all the family ties between Janet and Micheal, (complete with the trailer for "This Is It", which I wanna see WAY more than "New Moon", but I wanna see Where the Wild Things Are more than all of them), the Jay Z performance, the complete disregard for appropriate conduct on the part of the Louis Vuitton Don and the class act gesture of Mrs. Carter at the end, I'd have to say advantage VMA's. If only for the controversy.

We'll see how many Award Shows Kanye gets invited to now. Hey, at least he didn't shout "liar" right? You should be thanking Lil' Mama. She may have saved you some embarrassment by basking in her own.